Lifting Heavy Sh*t

Barbell as medicine

Some early program deadlifts

Last fall I embarked on learning a new skill and challenging myself in a new way: lifting heavy sh*t with barbells.

While I have done some form of strength training since my teens, I have never ventured under the bar (except for a brief flirt with a deadlift and bench that ended as fast as it started due to injury). With the whole three ring circus that is navigating menopause, I haven’t felt satisfied by any form of training in a very long time. Despite successful outdoor adventures, my body has felt more like an alien being than a welcoming home.

Since my tried-and-true things were not working, why not be brave and do something new?

How it Started

I’ve raved about the Hit Play Not Pause podcast here before. Feisty media was offering a live version of their Strong Course last fall and I jumped on it. I wanted to better understand what “heavy” in “lifting heavy” really meant. I already know how important it is for me to be physically active, vibrant, and able to do the things I love for many years to come (and time is flying by!!). Being strong – in mind, spirit, bone health, and body is an important component of that desire.

After so many months of training for backpacking the Tahoe Rim Trail segment, I was bone-tired-exhausted from long hikes, carrying a heavy pack or ruck and generally fatigued out of my mind. I needed a reset.

I decided to go back to basics and start with a focus on strength allowing cardio to be sprinkled in intentionally with some HIIT work and longer jaunts when life allowed. As it turned out, autumn and winter have been a time of life being all encompassing with stressful events and aging parents, so our typical winter hikes have been very few and far between.

Why This, Why Now, What’s Different

Three big factors have made this possible (and so satisfying!):

One - an out of this world wonderful teacher and strength coach in the Feisty Programs – Cassi Neimann.

Second – Finding a local gym that inspires me to show up. Something I haven’t truly experienced in YEARS.

Third (internal factors) - I have intentionally worked diligently to shift my internal ecosystem (a work in progress).

I am a solid self-starter and avid learner. However, the interweb is full of nonsense that is impossible to translate to my unique body. Between the fact that we all have limitations (mobility, past injuries, body shape and size) and my deep desire to not plague myself with painful injuries, I wanted to learn from an expert and one who understands the challenges midlife women face.

My leap of faith into the Feisty Strong Course (and in 2026, their Barbell Club) has exceeded my expectations and brought more joy and confidence into my strength training than I thought possible. Cassi is hands-down the best teacher of proper form and combines the best blend of expertise, humor, and encouragement. A balm and boost I didn’t even know I needed until I experienced it. She even helped me find a gym in my area to try (and she is 2000 miles from me!).

Which leads me to my brave choice to try a new gym. Armed with a trial membership, the workout programming, and a boatload of anxiety dolloped with self-consciousness, I walked through the doors of Iron Athlete Gym.

Luckily for me I was greeted on my first morning by one of the owners, Sara, who recognized my name from the signup and offered to show me around. Her kindness and welcome made all the difference. While it took me a few weeks to feel “at home”, knowing I was welcome, had a place where I could belong whatever my goals mattered. For the first time in a very long time, I have a gym that I enjoy going to and feel inspired by. No fluff, no endless rows of cardio equipment, no throngs of young bodies standing around having a social event, just commitment and doing the work.

The Inner Ecosystem

Unpacking what serves me and what doesn’t is a Hard AF journey. My past has consisted of a great deal of beating myself up, self-loathing, and pushing myself to the point of major injuries. Never measuring up, never good enough.

While I have evolved, the rocky recent years of peri/menopause have made even the basics seem impossible. Instead of feeling gains from all my efforts, I’ve only felt crushing fatigue and struggle.

This was one of my motivations for changing my approach from a focus on longer endurance workouts to strength and shorter, harder cardio. The jury is still out as to how any of this will translate to long bike rides, hikes, and backpacking or what support I might need to adapt that training to get the most quality from it without feeling like a worn-out dishrag. What I can say is that for the last 5 months I have been excited to train and I have felt better than I have in several years. This barbell stuff is indeed therapy, medicine, and empowerment all rolled into one.

What I am Learning

Aside from learning new exercises, form, equipment, and etiquette, I find new insights and wisdom every week.

• The bar is in charge – you cannot out-muscle the thing. Another reminder of my commitment to stop having a fist fight with reality.

• Putting heavy weight (heavy for me) on a bar is humbling every single time, whether it is a warm-up or an increased PR.

• Small details matter. I’ve resisted the urge to micro-manage or optimize every detail, but with expert coaching and programming, I am learning how seemingly small cues make big differences.

• I am not the same every day. Adapting what I do to meet where I find myself is strength, not weakness. Some days I can do more, other days less. DOING and SHOWING UP is what makes me strong, not the number of plates on the bar.

• Knowing I am safe (proper safety setup, form) keeps my nervous system happy so I can direct my energy to the task at hand.

• Take up space, make some noise – let self-consciousness go (hot take: those middle school boyz and strong dudes surely don’t worry about it, why should I?)

• Progress is made in small increments with the tiny plates. That is as it should be, it is not a character flaw.

I can only imagine as time goes on the Aha’s will keep coming. For now, I am grateful and satisfied with the journey.

When was the last time you tried something new, a bit challenging, maybe a dash of scary? Share in the comments below…