Autumn Musings

Reflections on the season

An old, protected tree on the local rail-trail path

I am fascinated by the transition spaces of spring and fall.  They can feel hard to properly capture because they hold so much.   Whether it is the phenomenon of time passing at an alarming rate (a midlife thing?) or the crazy-town weather swings of climate change, I find it hard to settle into a flow. One day it is 80 degrees (still!) and the next it is 50 with frost warnings.

As harvest season comes to an end, I feel a need to energetically call in a narrowing of focus and groundedness. To remind myself to honor the season of life I am in and align it with what nature is up to as it foreshadows darker days and a cozier vibe.  This calling in can feel like herding cats for a trip to the vet.

A push/pull to seize the beautiful weather days for fun and pre-winter chores and a longing to claim my hermit self while reading a good book under a soft blanket with a cat and cup of coffee at my side.

The tension of this season is very familiar to me based on my personality. I have so many interests and endless amounts of wish buckets for experiences I desire. A bucket list not the size of a large post it, but rather a compendium sized collection of encyclopedias (remember those?).  Each dream realized acts like a perpetual scroll on a website. There is always more. A Both/And of gratitude and desire.

This feeling is born out of curiosity and aliveness, not a sense of un-satisfiability or lack as it was for many years. Not a pursuit of endless more. Instead, a yearning to savor varied experiences.

As the leaves go…

One of my favorite lines and biggest epiphanies of the season came years ago from a Carrie Newcomer song:

“The leaves don’t fall they just let go…”

It makes me wonder, what would the season look like if the leaves acted like I often do? Unwilling to let go, release my grip, holding on for dear life?  It would make the landscape more Salvador Dali, less Monet.

A conflict of epic proportions instead of a natural transition.

I don’t know about you, but I have never seen a leaf fight with a tree. Inevitably some leaves might hang around until mid-winter but there is no struggle. They remain steadfast or they let go. No rumination or existential crisis to be found. 

Simple, exquisite acceptance.

I ponder this on my walks and wonder what would be available to me if I embodied even a fraction of this grace? With myself, with others, with life’s circumstances.

Rather than being dragged kicking and screaming through a transition, allowing it to unfold and being present with what IS at any given moment. Sometimes that can be an immense and intense amount of discomfort to sit with.

A lifelong growing edge, indeed.

Either way winter is going to come. We are all headed there – metaphorically and literally.

The frivolity of fall

Plenty of silliness lives in this season as well.  The agitation of election season aside, it is worth taking ourselves less seriously. Lighten up and consider flittering on the wind like the leaves.  Many surprises can be found here.  One of my favorite treats is watching my cats, all Zen and content in my office, suddenly whipping her head around as a leaf dances by the window. She jumps up and tries to catch it.  A simple pleasure not accessible in the other seasons.

Then there’s pumpkin spice. I’m not sure exactly when it happened but as a species, we took a delicious combination of spices and lost our collective minds. Pumpkin + spice = yes. Pumkin spice everything = no.

The other week while traveling in the country, I saw an auto mechanic on the corner with a sign outside advertising “Pumpkin Spice Oil Changes”. Love the humor.

While I no longer get into Halloween, I do love to witness a good, creative costume.

The reflective side of autumn

The season begins with an extended period of taking stock. The combination of seasons, end of the calendar year, my birthday, and winter solstice lends itself to review, reflection, and reorienting as necessary.  Not in a supercharged approach of new year, new goals, nonsense. More intentionality and gentle wayfinding as I take another trip around the sun.

Early morning sunrise biking in the leaves.

Each season has its unique pleasures.

With that sentiment, here are some of my favorite sensory experiences of the season:

• Leaves crunching beneath my feet or bike tires.

• Chilly mornings

• The fleeting warmth of mid-afternoon

• The earthiness of the forest and fallen leaves

• Changing colors in the landscape

• The angle of the sun (chef’s kiss for photography)

• Curling up in a warm blanket

• The smell of a good fire in the firepit at sunset or sunrise

• Heartier fare and bolder flavors

• Clearer skies with bluer blues and more stars in the sky

What do you love about autumn?

What is calling to you during this particular transition season?